Death, an inevitable appointment that we all must face.
Yesterday evening was hard for me when I learned of not one but TWO DEATHS, unrelated….within an hour of one another. A family member and a childhood friend who was murdered in Trinidad!
I found myself weeping uncontrollably, at a total loss for words. I found myself literally going into shock, rambling incoherently while speaking to my sister Millie when she call me to ask me if I had pictures of our friend.
I burst into tears. This was a new experience for me. I said to Millie, “whoa, I usually do not respond like this.” You know, I take death in stride, comfort others and go home and cry in private.
Funny how I’ve resisted crying in front of others, not because of a sign of weakness or shame, but more of embarrassment.
In fact, three weeks ago I shared with 3 individuals in a Zoom meeting – my son Prince, Benaiyah & Bessie that I hated crying in front of people. I was so angry about it that I slammed my hand on the table. But these three beautiful human beings stayed right there with me, encouraging me, telling me to simply #breathe and allow myself to grow and expand and simply #BE.
The truth is, I have been given this “gift of tears” as a form of prayer, compassion, empathy for others, intercession and healing that is liberating.
Whether due to news of conflict, or wars, or famines, or injustice, I cry and find myself saying to my Heavenly Father “Abba, don’t you get tired of my tears? Here I am again, crying, and I don’t even know these people. Here I am Lord, just as I am. You know the reason for these tears. After all, your Word declares that not one tear goes unnoticed, that you are in fact collecting my tears in a bottle.”
I even cry at happy events: the birth of a child, weddings, baptisms, or the unconditional joy and love of an 80-pound Labrador who excitedly greets me as I walk into my office, lavishing me with kisses, barks of joy, and wagging his tail while he wonders where I had gone. He literally talks to me while I reassure him that I was back.
While I do not like others to see me cry, I bask in the cleansing of my soul and emotions, deliverance if you wish!
Last night I was blessed to talk with my Son Prince for more than two hours as we worked through our grief, #together.
Death. #death , the unavoidable appointment. I know all too well that while I am alive, I will live life limitlessly! Peace, love and blessings. In Jesus name amen.
Words of a poem by John Donne written in 1624 come to mind and I share them below.
No Man is an Island
“No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine own were; any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”