For years, people mistook my quiet nature for weakness. They didn’t realize that the quietest part of a hurricane is the eye—and right outside of it, a tempest is brewing. My kids have always called me “Storm.” It’s a nickname that became terrifyingly literal when life threw domestic abuse, divorce, trauma, and a three-year search for my missing child directly into my path.
I didn’t just survive those elements; I absorbed them.
When I commissioned artist Rodney Shaddai Leon to capture my spirit on June 20th, 2011, he painted me in a simple black dress with blinding lightning exploding from my hands and feet. That painting will become the cover of my book, 212: The Extra Degree – Releasing the Power Within. It stands as a permanent reminder of who I am when I am pushed to the edge. When life knocks me down, I don’t just get back up. I rise with fierce persistence.
If you are currently feeling frozen by “progress procrastination,” it is time to stop hiding from the rain. It is time to release the power within and become the storm.
The Myth of Laziness
About two months ago, I heard someone say that procrastination is just another word for laziness. My mind immediately rejected this. The math simply wasn’t mathing.
Procrastination is actually the exact opposite of laziness:
- The Lazy Person: Content doing nothing. They avoid expending effort entirely and feel no internal struggle.
- The Procrastinator: Desperately wants to do the task but is paralyzed by emotional roadblocks. They often pour high energy into less important chores just to avoid the main one.
Psychologists view procrastination as an emotion-regulation problem, not a character flaw. Your brain is simply trying to shield you from negative feelings—like anxiety, overwhelm, or fear of failure—by seeking short-term comfort.
When you face a heavy deadline and feel clueless about how to resolve it, fear takes over. You worry about disappointing the people depending on you. That isn’t laziness. That is emotional overload.
Weathering My Own Storms
My understanding of this distinction comes from a lifetime of pushing through heavy emotional terrain. Since 1984, I worked non-stop while raising three children without child support, eventually earning three college degrees. As an African American woman in the corporate world, I was frequently underpaid, but my priorities and core values were focused on survival and family.
I survived domestic abuse, divorce, a second marriage, the trauma of a loved one being assaulted, a missing child for more than three years, and a second divorce. Through it all, I self-published three books. My healing balms were my faith in God and consistent journaling, which sustained my sanity and self-worth.
Then, in December 2018, I faced a new storm: unemployment.
After 34 years of non-stop work, I was laid off just twelve days before Christmas due to downsizing. It was a massive blow to my psyche. For months, I couldn’t find a job. I faced the ugly reality of ageism and felt a terrifying urge to give up. In the past, I survived for my children. Now, I had to fight to survive for me.
Over the next eight years, I was laid off three times. By the third time, I didn’t panic. I had already traversed this rocky terrain. I knew the mountains, valleys, and deserts. I was a solitary figure walking down an empty road in a storm, but I was awake to the possibilities of the adventure. I chose to move forward with grace, style, and trust in God.
How to Break the Paralysis
Looking for work with limited resources is exhausting. Procrastination is just your brain’s natural, desperate attempt to shield you from that intense stress. When you are overwhelmed, your brain’s emotional center hijacks your ability to plan.
You are not lazy; you are running on empty.
To regain control without burning out, you must lower the bar and focus only on what you can control with microscopic goals:
- The 5-Minute Rule: Sit down with the sole intention of working for five minutes. If you want to stop after five minutes, stop. The hardest part is simply starting.
- Micro-Goals: Write down tasks so small they feel silly. Instead of “apply for jobs,” aim for “open resume document,” “find one company name,” or “draft one sentence.”
- The “Plus One” Strategy: Do just one productive thing a day. One application, one phone call, or one edit. Once it is done, your job for the day is complete. Rest guilt-free.
Free Resources & Emotional Strategies
When financial resources are tight, you can leverage free, structured support to take the planning burden off your shoulders:
- CareerOneStop: These government-funded centers offer free resume reviews, career counseling, and job training programs across the country.
- Findhelp.org: If you need assistance with basic needs like food, utilities, housing, or mental health support, enter your zip code here to find immediate local aid.
- Local Public Libraries: Take advantage of free internet, quiet workspaces, and complimentary access to premium tools like resume builders and LinkedIn Learning.
Finally, remember that procrastination happens when a task triggers fear. The next time you feel the urge to avoid a job application, pause and label the emotion:
- Acknowledge the fear: Say to yourself, “I am avoiding this because I am afraid of being rejected, and that is a completely normal thing to fear.”
- Separate your worth from the outcome: A rejection or a ghosted application is not a reflection of your value. It is just data in a numbers game.
Keep persisting. You are closer to your goals than you think. Be gentle with yourself. If you are tempted to beat yourself up, don’t reach for a heavy wooden two-by-four. You will only hurt yourself.
Instead, use a feather.